


What Binds Us

by TickingPocketWatches



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: I can honestly say I like this one, M/M, marriage AU, mckirk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:24:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TickingPocketWatches/pseuds/TickingPocketWatches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones never was one to pour his heart out to anyone, and share what he held most dear, but when it came to his mother and talking about his Jim. He had all the time and pouring in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Binds Us

Bones relaxed his arm on the edge of the porch swing. The springs and cables complained with rickety creaking moans, protesting from old age as he swung gently back and forth. 

He sighed, wrinkling his nose to rid the tickling that bothered his sinuses. The moldy leaves teased his allergies, making him wonder why it had never bothered him before, when he was younger.

He flicked his dark eyes to the screen door. The taste of hickory and smoke tainted the air from the old fashioned stove, heating the home from inside. The chimney over head spewed what the fire chocked out, mixing the smoke with the wind that swirled around the doctor. Whispering to his thoughts, telling him it would soon be Fall and asking if he remembered what it felt like and what it had used to mean. 

He wrapped his mind around that place his thoughts went to, when he wanted to feel small and protected again. The same thoughts where his mother was, the same memories from his youth of her arm lying around his shoulders, pulling him into her warm side. Swinging on the same old porch swing, listening to the cicadas scream and the crickets chirp. The delight of having some sort of treat she had prepared them held greedily in his small hands. 

He remembered the distinct smell of old fashioned detergent from her dress, wafting past his nose, and other little things that you hadn't noticed, until they were bits and pieces of memories you had forgotten until a certain moment struck déjà vu.

He closed his eyes to feel the surroundings of the house he had grown up in. Remembering the memories that altered his life and made him into the man he became and continued to grow into.  
Letting his heart bleed over the things he done and hadn't, when he lived in the small home. 

The falling sun peeked its disappearing head over the horizon. Leaving its orange and red hot glow in its wake. Painting the earth with shadows and lights that left your eyes foggy and hazed. The changing wind, indecisive and confused, ruffled Bone's combed hair, as the air twirled and swished in undecided directions.

He reopened his eyes and let his thoughts drift like the brittle leaves he watched roll on the dirt ground. 

He hadn't realized how dark it gotten until the light from the porch's canopy, suddenly flicked on, blinding him for a couple seconds. The light taking the quiet serenity of darkness with it. 

When his eyes quickly adjusted from the white, he forced them to the aged screen door that creaked when opened. 

The bittersweet memories of his younger days, always found a way of making him forget that time had past when his mother would be at his side. 

Her salt and peppered hair left a small voice in the back of his mind asking, 'when did the raven black strands leave her? And when did smooth; pale skin turn to wrinkled flesh, changing her features but also leaving the familiarity he knew of, when he was younger.'

It was weird how time worked. Changing things you wished to stay the same, but leaving it close enough to how it was, so you wouldn't notice what it had done. Like a parent hiding the things that would make a child upset, sneakily changing them only when they didn't pay attention or care to notice. 

Bones wished he payed more attention. He wished he allowed himself to notice the things he took for granite. He wished he could find a way to control that part of his brain, that itched his nerves and taunted him, when he couldn't remember a certain day or moment that he desired to recollect. He wished he had let the things that bothered him go and held on to the things that actually mattered. 

He wished for a lot of things. 

Bones felt his own smile touch his lips as his mother carefully lowered herself beside him, a gentle knowing smile she always wore just for him. 

His memories felt awkward and confused to the small and petite form at his side. His memories and current thoughts bickering, demanding to know how the swing and woman had shrunk, and how his own body became so big. It felt weird. How did one grow without noticing the subtle changes?

He hadn't realized he spaced out, until a frail hand carefully patted at his knee. Eyes falling to his lap, he quickly flicked them back to his mother. He blinked at her expression. He couldn't quiet grasp what it was about it, but it mellowly stated that she was proud.

Full of silent proud thoughts that she wished to spew out to him, but she knew her son. To say what she desired to speak, would end up with the man being uncomfortable. She knew he would have to be praised gently or he would scamper off and neglect to hear what she felt so strongly for him. So rather, she simply said, "Does it feel different?"

Bones knew it wasn't a question on feeling. He knew she wasn't asking if he felt physically the same, just mentally. If he asked himself the same question he wouldn't know how to answer. 

He felt the same, but more whole, like he found the part of him he wished he could be. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to say this, but by the unwavering joy that touched her voice. She probably did. He just didn't know how to start.

But as he looked into her eyes, it was if she already knew how he felt. Heck, she probably knew, even before he had realized it. She was his Momma after all. Not many could know him better.

He should have contemplated on what to say to her question, but the word had already left his mouth before he could stop it. 

"Yah." 

He bit, then tongued his lip and felt his brow clench, looking to the hand that sat gingerly on his knee. He did not need to look to know she was nodding her head softly. He knew her mouth was pursed into a crinkled smile, as she tried to keep it from spreading on her face. 

"And how does that feel?" 

He blinked not knowing how to answer. She was always nudging him, making him think even when he didn't want to. 

"Like I've been using my left hand for years, then suddenly realizing I was right handed." 

His lip twitched when she chuckled softly. 

He gave a quick push with his foot, to give the suspended chair a soothing rock. He felt silly about his metaphor, but that's what came to mind at the moment, and if he had learnt anything from his mother, it was to express how he truly felt and not sugar coat it.

The hand on his knee, left to wrap around his hand that lied dormant on his lap. Her cool fingers felt like winter in his warm palm, making him realize just hold cold it was now, now that the suns warmth had left.

He wrapped his fingers around her hand and gave a slight squeeze, like how you would with an embrace.

"I can't mess up this time." 

He knew the words came from nowhere. He knew it made her look at him, with questions she was building up in her head to ask. 

The sentence left his mouth before he even thought it himself. Her protective aura making him feel at ease to spill what ever troubling thought that graced his mind. 

Like how he was when he was little, standing before her with hands entwined at his back and a down cast head on his shoulders. Trying to make up his mind on how to explain himself to get the hugs and caring words he so desired. To selfishly make himself feel better. 

He was no better now, than how he was as a child. He just couldn't help but feel like he still was one when she was near him. 

Her glowing eyes became calmly sad at his words. Her mouth closed and pursed to ready her tongue to clearly speak what she would soon say. 

"And, how have you messed up before?" 

Her gentle voice held a wise hint. Telling him she already knew where this conversation would go. Making him feel anxious in how he should reply.

He took a deep breath and grimaced at the tie around his neck. He wanted to loosen it, but decided to wait until permission was granted. 

"I can't let what happened with me and Jocelyn, happen to us. To Jim." He stopped to take another aggravated breath. Feeling suddenly like the wind and air couldn't fill his lungs enough for a simple breath. "I can't do it. I can't hurt him."

The patch of warmth that blossomed from her hand went cold as she brought it to his cheek. Her once strong touch, feeling too weak and old to be the same hand that had cared for him his whole young life. 

The gentle touch became firm, pulling his down cast gaze to be directed at her. Her familiar warmth of her lean body next to his, making me him feel like a small boy once more in the wings of her protection. He couldn't help to look anywhere but her eyes. He wished she would let go, but the hand on him held its ground. He instead left his gaze intently on her nose. Readying himself for what she would say. 

"Jim ain't Jocelyn, honey." She whispered firmly, taking the hand on his cheek and giving it a soft jolt to have him look into her eyes. The dark iris that matched his own, held him steadily. He wanted to look away, but now he couldn't. 

"That was mistakes from the past that time has taught you not make again." She paused to let her first sentence sink in, taking the hand on his cheek to finger at a loose strand of hair. To smooth it back into place with a motherly touch, before resting her hand back on his jaw line. "There's plenty of mistakes you'll make in the future, but don't let the past make you afraid of how you handle yourself now."

He lowered his eyes and felt himself be pulled into his small mother, feeling too big and ridicules in her loving embrace. As her arms wrapped around his neck, he couldn't help but feel safe and calm about what she had said. He may question and worry about his troubles tomorrow, but right now he felt like it would be all okay. 

He closed his eyes and ignored the way her hair tickled his nose. Just wanting to relish the moment that he knew he would loose his thoughts to off in the distant future.

After what might have been minutes that felt like fleeting seconds, their hug was interrupted by a wave of festive giggles and voices high with delight. The next thing Bones heard was the slamming of the screen door, it's wooded frame slapping a few more times after it was tossed open. 

He felt himself pull away from his mothers arms to look up to an uncomfortable Jim. His stance saying that he didn't mean to interrupt what he just had walked in on. 

Jim scrunched in on himself. His white tux, fitting his lean body perfectly making Bone's heart flutter on seeing the young man. 

Bones felt himself smile at the ice blue eyes that match the buttoned up shirt he wore. Those eyes that he could look into for hours if he was allowed to stop time and just stare.

Jim suddenly turned around and placed a hand on the door nob with a blush painting his cheeks.

"Sorry, I'll come back later-"

But before Jim could finish his sentence, she interrupted him smoothly, rising slowly from her seat. Bones stood along with her, a hand at her back to help her stand.

"I was just going." She said softly, her eyes flicking back to her son's after she spoke. 

She dusted off imaginary wrinkles in his tux and reposition the rose at the pocket. Sliding her hands down his arms to rest at his wrists with a proud glow in her eyes. 

Bones blinked as she leaned in a second time for a hug. Her thin arms around his wide shoulders hugged tightly in an embrace he hadn't felt since he had left for Star Fleet. It was a hug that enveloped him in love and a desperate need to be near the one she created, the one she loved. 

"I'm so proud of you." She whispered into his ear, then planted a motherly kiss to his forehead, before she pulled away. Making him wonder as to what she was pointedly proud about. 

He sniffed at the air as she parted. His expression going uncertain as she walked away and into the house. The door slamming behind her sounded too harsh and out of place for the moment they had just shared. He wanted to talk with her a bit longer, to chat about things that weren't so awkward, but he knew there would be time tomorrow. He would find time. 

His hands swiftly found their way into his pockets and his eyes fell to the blond. A soft smile going to his face. Feeling a bit embarrassed. 

Jim's smile spread, making his whole body glow with a happiness that Bones adored. 

Jim took the few steps that separated the two and wrapped his arms around the doctors waist. Sliding up against him feeling the warmth from the others body. Looking up into hazel eyes that made the moon look dim. The scratchy tux made his skin creep, but he ignored it, if it meant he could touch the other. 

"You look'en good, Bones." Jim purred, crawling his fingers under the others jacket, away from the material he shriveled at. 

Jim rippled with delight, by the warm lips that pecked chastely at his nose. The smell of Bone's cologne only noticeable by how close he was to his mate. Only for him. 

"Not bad yourself, Darl'n." 

Jim felt his mouth quirk into a smirk at the southern slang Bone's words blended into. Making him want to point out that his accent always became thicker when he was around his family for any length of time, but he didn't want him to think he was insulting or making fun, so he remand silent. Enjoying the cute thought for himself at the time. 

Jim lost focus on his pondering's when Bones nudged at his cheek with his nose, asking silently for Jim to arch his neck, so that he could kiss at full lips. 

Jim took the mouth on his with an alluring sigh and molded into the touch. Feeling like he connected perfectly into his lovers arms.  
When Bones pulled back, just enough to look Jim into his eyes, he whispered, "I wanna walk with my new husband."

Jim licked his lips and felt himself smile a toothy grin. Loving the way his mate's voice sounded when he said the word 'husband'. He loved the fact that he was his husband and would forever be. It felt so good and so thrilling to spend the rest of his life with the one he would have never guessed that was out there for him.

Jim felt the others fingers snake into his own, until they clasped into a gentle hold. The heat of the mans flesh, whispering a warmth into Jim's chest.

Bones was the first to move. Walking with as little space between them, that was ideally prevented. The steps creaked as their weight shift from step to step, making Jim wonder how long ago it was built. 

The ground was smooth and moist, covered with a coating of curled leaves. A choppy walk of crunching steps played the music to the night. A cloudy moon and peaking stars made Jim want to stop and admire what was over head. As he looked up to the sky, feet taking him were ever Bones was leading, he leaned his head on the others shoulder. Wrapping both his arms snugly around the doctors and walked with his side pressed up to Bones. A gentle kiss pressed to the top of Jim's head, caused him to sigh with lazy eyes.

Only a few yards from the house, Bones stopped at a large oak tree. It's branches reached out greatly over them, covering the ground with a layer of fallen leaves. The fog from the pond near by left a haze around their feet and smeared the distance around them. Locking then into their own little world. Blocking the rest out. It was so beautiful. 

Jim was about to ask why they had stopped, when his eyes caught onto a brittle rope, hanging from one of the branches. An old tire swaying in the wind as it dangled from the rope. 

Jim couldn't help but imagine a younger Bones spending a portion of his childhood near this tree. Reading and studying his homework with that tense face he always wore when he was in concentration. It was just so easy to picture. He left a mental note to ask the mans mother about seeing more baby pictures later. Jim couldn't get enough of them. 

He was startled from his thoughts when Bones suddenly and carefully kneeled down to one knee, both hands tenderly holding Jim's left one. The silver ring that newly adorned his ring finger, shone from off the reflection of the moon. 

Jim felt a wave of amusement and confusion as he looked to the top of his husbands head. A case of déjà vu sweeping over his thoughts. Just as the time he had proposed to him. A warmth crept into his chest at the memory and his interest peaked at the situation. He remained quiet, only a smile on his face as he looked into brown iris's when they connected with his blue. 

"Jim, I-" he sighed a nervous sigh, his voice uncertain, and his thumb subconsciously brushing delicately over the hand he cupped. "When I said my vows today. I meant every word." Bones said softly, under the chirps of noisy frogs behind him. 

Jim smiled cheekily. "You better have." He chuckled teasingly, as Bones face became torn between smiling and focusing back to his serious thoughts. 

Jim went silent. The seriousness and desperate note to Bone's voice made him realize that he was trying his best to speak his mind. Jim smiled softly, he would wait patiently. Because when Bones had his moments to share his heart, it was a time to listen and help pull his thoughts out of him. 

Bones focused once again on Jim's hand, wetting his dry lips with a swish of his tongue. 

"Yah, well- I just wanted to let you know that." He paused uncomfortably, then continued. "You are so important to me and I need you to know, that I will always be there for you." 

Jim shook his head with a pitying smile, as his husband spoke. He kneeled down to be on the same level as the other, taking both hands into his own and looking into worried eyes that he fell in love with so long ago.

"Bones, you don't have to explain." He smiled a pure smile, when Bones gave him an unsure expression. "I know you well and I know how you are. I have great faith, I won't be getting rid of you anytime soon."

Jim's grin widened when he finally got a chuckle and smile out of Bones's grim look. He nodded his head and gave Jim's hand a gentle squeeze. 

"And I won't be going anywhere either, unless it's right there beside you. Don't you ever worry about stupid shit like that." 

Bones grumbled softly, at Jim's foul wording, taking one of his hands and ruffling Jim's hair. 

"I love ya, Jim." 

Jim leaned into the hand that ended up cupping the back of his head. Looking softly into Bones's eyes, wanting to say how much he loved the 'worry wort', but decided to use the rest of their lives together to express it. 

 

*End*

**Author's Note:**

> I actually can say I like this fic. I haven't reread it, so that's probably why. Haha :p 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it as well! Comments are so so very appreciated and Kudos are a great honor. Thank you for taking time out of your day or night to read my little fic.:) I hope it could bring a smile to your lovely face! Thanks again!


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